Look... before you all start on me, it IS technically "tomorrow" So I am allowed to post again. It's my damn blog anyway, I'll write something every hour if I want to!!
*ahem*... anyway lol I wanted to share with you all this letter that I wrote to MJ on the day of his funeral/Memorial
On the day of your funeral, I wanted to write to you and tell you how much you mean to me. I hope you can read this from heaven.
First of all, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry I never got to tell you this in person. I always hoped I could just meet you, and look into those beautiful deep brown eyes and say “I love you” and give you the biggest hug in the world.
I did not have a happy childhood. It was filled with pain, and suffering. I was being sexually abused from two years old until I was fourteen years old. I was too afraid to tell anyone, and I had no friends. But you, Michael, were always there for me. I would listen to “you are not alone” while in bed and pretend you were there, holding me in your arms and singing to me.
You became my one and only friend, I would write to you and tell you everything, all my worries and fears, my hopes and dreams, because I knew that you would understand. So thank you Michael, for being there for me when nobody else in this world reached out. I am just another little child whose tears were turned to joy because of you.
Having to live without you in this world is the worst pain I have ever felt. I feel like I have lost my other half, my twin soul. It is unbearable, but I am also thankful you are at peace. You are free. Free from the lies, the ridicule and the stress this cruel, cruel world put onto you.
You have taught this world a lot Michael, I hope you are proud of everything you have achieved and will continue to achieve. You have taught us that it does not matter what colour skin a person has, we are all the same. We are all part of one big family. You have taught us to be passionate about helping to make this world a better place. You have taught us not to judge people, not to believe everything we hear. You have shown us what true love is. Thank you
You are a beautiful soul Michael, and that soul will never die. Your soul is loving, kind, gentle, sweet, funny and full of pure, untainted love. You never stopped loving even when times got tough, you are a true warrior, and you will always be my hero.
I love you immensely and although this pain hurts so much, I have to put on a brave face, if not for myself, then for you. I would do anything for you dear sweet one, and it’s for that reason that I will fight to right the wrongs of this world. I will spread your message of love and healing, and I will spend my life dedicated and loyal to you and what you believed in. I will work for that better tomorrow my darling.
So, I will end this letter here and hope you are having fun in heaven, teaching Jesus to moonwalk, spin and kick, no crotch grabbing though!
I can’t wait to get to heaven and see your beautiful smile and melt into those dark eyes. I will hold you in my arms and tell you I love you. But until then, I will work hard for you, to carry on your wishes for the world. I will celebrate your life and speak your name. I am proud to say that I love you, and I will always love you. You have my heart.
God bless you Michael xxxx