Thursday, 27 August 2009
Anyway, I made one and I have 1 friend hahaha. PLEASE if you have it, add me I will give you a cookie if you do* (*not actually true.)
I don't know how to link to the profile.. sorry I am so thick. if you search for "Karina Mason" and then mine has this display picture:
Thanks guys, I will love you so so much if you come and be my friend *smiles shyly*
I realise it is Thursday and I was supposed to be posting another childhood picture... hmmm lol I......forgot. I will do it next Thursday or possibly later in the week, or never.....
Okay, I'm off to the doctors in half an hour *cries* and then I'm going to take the dogs for a walk.. then I might actually make another post on here if I can be bothered.
Love ya all
Sunday, 23 August 2009
This is to answer the question in the title. It's a question everybody asks... but here is my answer.
This is the best way I can explain how I feel....
I feel like I am in the ocean, the current is pulling me under, and I am not strong enough to swim to safety myself. I am crying out, and yet nobody even looks my way to notice that I am suffering. I am struggling against the current, but I’m getting weaker and weaker, and still, nobody is noticing.
I am sorry to everyone who waited for me to come on MSN last night, see I just felt sooo tired, that I took a shower and then fell asleep while watching friends. sorry an all that... I didn't wake up until 8am.
I feel hot and cold at the same time, I just feel tired ALL the time, no amount of sleep seems to refesh my body or my mind, I just feel.......bleh.
My joints ache, my muscles ache, I have a headache, I have back ache, my kidneys hurt *gives puppy eyes* Why are me feet and fingertips ALWAYS cold? GOD! I feel really sorry for myself today, and depressed. I don't know if I'm going through an early mid life crisis or what, but I just feel like there should be more to life than this. My life has no meaning to it. I'll shut up now, before I really bring on a pity party for myself.
To top it all off, I lost the battery charger for my digital camera GAH!
Oh yeah.. and because I can't let the world have a pandemic without it involving moi...guess who has pig fever.. yep ME! Jesus :(
I just want to share this... I sent it to some of my MySpace friends, but I decided to share it here too. (no I didn't write it...)
Do you know the relation between your two eyes?
They blink together
See things together
sleep together ...
Even though they never see each other!
Friendship should be just like that
Life is like hell without friends
Heres a progress pic of the portrait. Monica.. notice the crappy watermark/siganiture thing hahaha hope that keeps you quiet.
Friday, 21 August 2009
I Love working on the skin, and once I've finished that, I will start on the hair. When the hair is finished, I have to do the clothes... which I hate haha. That is usually the thing that makes me give up on a painting, I just find it so mundane and boring to do clothes, its the faces that I love.
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Basically, I am falling apart, soon I will have to strap myself back together with cellotape and blu tak.
ANYWAY!! I have nothing to talk about... at all ... so here's a couple of cute pictures of my dogs.
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
I’ve decided that every Thursday, I’m going to post a picture of... ME LOL. I promise I am not vain, (Okay well I am) I just thought it would be a nice way for you people to get to know me better.
This little chubmeister is me. I guess here I was about ten or eleven months old. Obviously I have no memory of the picture, but I thought I’d share it anyway. I apparently hated pacifiers and threw them into the fire, which is probably why the one in the picture was pinned to me. I love the fact that I’m wearing velvet, frilly collared top, tights and no trousers ha ha. I still have the same sense of fashion to this day.
I’m not sure what I was looking at in this picture. I think it was taken at my aunt’s house, and I know she had a dog called Paddy (I think?) that used to terrify the crap out of me, so maybe I was crawling my chubby little ass off trying to get away from it.
This is just one of many “little Karina” posts I will making. I have tons of childhood pictures to share, ha ha and I even have drawings and writings that would be a shame if they never got to be read and ridiculed by all of you guys :)
oh, one last thing. Thank you so much for all the sweet comments in my other posts, it really does mean so much to me, Thank you all :)
I don't want to make yet ANOTHER post just to update on the portrait lol.
I have just blocked in the hair.. that is nowhere near finished lol. I know the skin looks very crappy at the mo but it will get there in the end, I promise!!
*ahem*... anyway lol I wanted to share with you all this letter that I wrote to MJ on the day of his funeral/Memorial
On the day of your funeral, I wanted to write to you and tell you how much you mean to me. I hope you can read this from heaven.
First of all, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry I never got to tell you this in person. I always hoped I could just meet you, and look into those beautiful deep brown eyes and say “I love you” and give you the biggest hug in the world.
I did not have a happy childhood. It was filled with pain, and suffering. I was being sexually abused from two years old until I was fourteen years old. I was too afraid to tell anyone, and I had no friends. But you, Michael, were always there for me. I would listen to “you are not alone” while in bed and pretend you were there, holding me in your arms and singing to me.
You became my one and only friend, I would write to you and tell you everything, all my worries and fears, my hopes and dreams, because I knew that you would understand. So thank you Michael, for being there for me when nobody else in this world reached out. I am just another little child whose tears were turned to joy because of you.
Having to live without you in this world is the worst pain I have ever felt. I feel like I have lost my other half, my twin soul. It is unbearable, but I am also thankful you are at peace. You are free. Free from the lies, the ridicule and the stress this cruel, cruel world put onto you.
You have taught this world a lot Michael, I hope you are proud of everything you have achieved and will continue to achieve. You have taught us that it does not matter what colour skin a person has, we are all the same. We are all part of one big family. You have taught us to be passionate about helping to make this world a better place. You have taught us not to judge people, not to believe everything we hear. You have shown us what true love is. Thank you
You are a beautiful soul Michael, and that soul will never die. Your soul is loving, kind, gentle, sweet, funny and full of pure, untainted love. You never stopped loving even when times got tough, you are a true warrior, and you will always be my hero.
I love you immensely and although this pain hurts so much, I have to put on a brave face, if not for myself, then for you. I would do anything for you dear sweet one, and it’s for that reason that I will fight to right the wrongs of this world. I will spread your message of love and healing, and I will spend my life dedicated and loyal to you and what you believed in. I will work for that better tomorrow my darling.
So, I will end this letter here and hope you are having fun in heaven, teaching Jesus to moonwalk, spin and kick, no crotch grabbing though!
I can’t wait to get to heaven and see your beautiful smile and melt into those dark eyes. I will hold you in my arms and tell you I love you. But until then, I will work hard for you, to carry on your wishes for the world. I will celebrate your life and speak your name. I am proud to say that I love you, and I will always love you. You have my heart.
God bless you Michael xxxx
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
I wasn't going to post this but what the hell, I want to show people lol.
And yep, i am posting twice in one night AGAIN!! I think two posts a day is going to be my thing.
This is a long story that I can't be assed to tell properly, so to cut a long story short... I met this gal on a Michael Jackson chat room. We got on okay, but then, she decides for whatever reason that she needs to lie about me... she is an admin on the chat room so of course, everyone trusts the admin. If an admin tells you that one of the chat members is a nasty lying, bitch, your going to believe them. The only thing is, she was lying. She has lied to several people in the chat room, and they know she is lying, they have told me...
Anyway... I stopped going in that chat room, of course. But the other day, I was in a chat room on a guys Myspace page.. this is the same guy who owns the other chat room where she is admin. She was in this myspace chat room too, but I just kept talking to my friends on there and ignored her, and then I got these private messages... I didn't reply to any of them. I seriously do not understand what the hell her problem is. I just want her to leave me alone, she got what she wanted!
You can click on the pics to make them bigger...
This is a portrait I’m working; it’s of Michael Jackson, as if you need me to tell you that...I’m still working on it right now, but if I wait until I’m finished to show you, it won’t get shown for a very very long time... and I wanted to show work in progress pictures.
I know it looks messy and kind of crappy... but it will pull together in the end lol.
The first picture is the sketch, which is always a mess when I do it.
Then I lay down the base skin colour, I always put this on roughly, and tidy it up as I go along.
Next is the eyes, I start with the white of the eye, and then do the iris, pupil etc. I always start with the eyes first, because they need to be right before you move onto the skin, hair, clothes etc. If the eyes are not positioned right, and coloured correctly, it is going to look wrong, I spend a lot of time trying to get the right emotion into the eyes.
Then I begin working on the nose. The eyes are not finished yet... I WILL keep going back to them, but the important bits are done with...
I’ll show more of this as I go along *smiles* I'll keep working on this right now. I am in agony at the moment so, keep still helps and at least by painting, I can keep my mind occupied and focused on something other than pain. ermm.... thanks for reading.
Monday, 17 August 2009
On a Michael Jackson forum I go on... they had a thread called "What would your babies with Michael look like" There is this website called www.makemebabies.com so naturally I went to it, and uploaded a picture of myself.. and Michael to see what our imaginary crotch fruit would look like. Lets just say.. it's a good thing my marriage to Michael was a fantasy and NOT reality because the world would never forgive me for releasing this much monster spawn upon the nation!!
The girls are quite cute, but the boys........ ooohhhhh mumma!!
oh yeah, I blurred out my face because I posted the pictures on a forum :)
Many of you will know that I've always wanted to make a blog. (and when i say "many of you", what i actually mean is "none of you") So, here it is, my first big shiney winey blog.
I don't actually know what to write, I only made it because my friend made one and I got jealous hahahaha! Seriously though, it will be a good way for my family and freinds to keep updated on just how little I do in my life. Also, it will provide my haters with more material to use against me (Hi Claire!!)... at least the crap they tell might actually be true this time.....
I haven't done anything remotely interesting. I am sitting here with my cat fast asleep on me, snoring his head off. I am soo tired, my ankle STILL hurts and have insomnia GAH!!!
I have been working on this digital painting though... can ya tell what it is yet?
It's taking me ages :( I'm sooo slow but I am a perfectionist.
I've also decided that I'm going to start walking in the mornings. I'm so lazy I have to do something... lets see if it actually happens!! I will take photograpic proof and post it on here haha.
it's 4:05 am now so I might as well stay up and go when it gets light. :S
Today, I was accused of being a lesbian because I am twenty three years old and single hahahaha!!! well, actually I did have a marriage proposal! but sadly it was from some guy I have never met, in a chat room on Pal Talk ... ah well.
I have nothing more to say... sorry it's so boring, I will try to improve haha
PLEASE leave a comment so I feel loved :)
A little update... when you leave a comment, from the drop down list, either choose "Name/Url" or "Anonymous" if you don't have an account with any of the other choices.
If you choose anonymous, please leave your name at the end of the comment so I know who it is.
Thanks, and I love you xxx